week 15

The past week has left me with a lot doubts and questions as to what the hell do I think I'm doing.Sometimes I think I can do this and other I know I can't. There are more I can't do this then I can. You would think I never study but I do. I have so much going on and stress it seems it will never end. So I have a big decision. Till next week.

week 14

well week 14 was Thanksgiving break. It was a busy week. I went to the movies with Tabithas soon to be in-laws, then she invited the sisters and I to a tea in Mannington on the afternoon of black Friday. Needless to say we were all tired.

My daughter cooked Thanksgiving dinner for us at her house in Buckhannon. She put out a beautiful feast.

Saturday we went to Charleston to shop for a wedding dress at David's Bridal and we were successful.

On top of all that I have been trying to get sick. My head has been hurting in the back off and on .

Well that is how my break went and I guess the studying did not help me, I seem not to be able to keep it in my head.

week 13

Well I never thought the week would end. I guess I am ready for a break. The softball video about did me in. I was ready to quit. I feel so inadequate. I am my biggest critic. I see everything I do wrong and I don't need anyone to tell me cause I automatically think it is wrong. Today was the big day to interpret and the students in class with me did a good job. Some were nervous and I know anxious, I was rooting for them in my heart. I know I was not ready to stand up in front of them. I know I could have a one on one conversation and it would all be literal but could I understand them? My doubts keep me in fear. Now it is time to sign off till next time.

week 12

This past week was sooo hard and then at the end the laptop catches on fire. Well we bought a new one last night, a mac. Now I have to learn a new system or navigate this new computer.

I am having a hard time with the softball video. The last few minutes we went over and changed so much. My paper is so messy with notes I don't think I can read it. I think I have 3 different versions on how it ends. I am so washed out I feel sick. I will have to retype the paper with the new notes just so I can read the story and have it ready for the next step.

well till next week and a better outlook.

week 11

This week was short but long in content. phew. I know in my head to sign about the meat of the sentence but it is still coming out literal. We tried signing in front of each other and some liked it but I was just as nervous as in front of the camera. The second time we did it I felt better.
Now to tackle the softball video by myself. This is going to be hard. We were told to call each other if we needed help. I know everyone else has a lot on their plate so I will try not to call too much. We have Deaf club on Saturday and it will be a busy weekend.
Well to a better week coming.

week 10

Has it really been 10 weeks?? I was beginning to think I was doing better. Then I saw my grade for that piece in Rubys class and found out I left out some info, now I will be wondering what it was forever. Watching the softball piece was hard on the eyes especially with all the rewinding. I know I do better when the class reviews together.
One day I feel like quiting then the next day I have some improvement then it's back to doubting myself. There is so much to do and I feel overwhelmed.
Well till next week.

week 9

Well the week started out with a funeral and ended with me being rearended by a car when I was going off the exit onto rt. 50 at Bridgeport Hill. I thought my van was crushed but it only had a little scratch on the bumper. I was so shook up. Now I feel sore. The days in between were busy trying to pull all the work together that I have been working on. I feel I did a little better. There is a lot of work ahead. New goals to accomplish. I think will I be able or am I so far behind and slow that I will never catch up or hold my own. My grandsons went over signs with me tonight. They are always an appreciative audience and willing participants.
Well till next week.

week 8

oops, I forgot last week but my back was out or in or inside out but it really hurt. I keep having ups and downs. I let things hurt my feelings when I shouldn't. I really took in a lot last week and I have been trying to apply it. I do notice if there is talking in the room when I am doing a video it distracts me. Like April says put it in your filing cabinet, my key must be rusty.I can't believe how much I am learning but the memory thing is an issue for me.
Till Friday

week 7

The days seem slow but the weeks are flying by. There is much to take in and to build on. Trying to remember is so hard. I still feel anxious. I signed up for tutoring and hope going over vocab will stick. I think last year I didn't know how to use a tutor to my advantage. Then when bad weather hit it was all about getting home in one piece.

I think the past week went pretty good, I know what I need to work on, doing it is another thing.

When I had my last piece critque I knew it was bad but I didn't know it was that bad. I just wanted to crawl in a hole. I was having a hard time letting it roll off my back and learning from it.

Well another week is starting, we'll see how that goes.

week 6

I am still stressing but now I can add our business to the list. I feel I am doing better. I know I just have to get out there and do it. I will make mistakes and I hope I am learning from them and retaining the new info. Till the end of this week.

week 5

First my granddaughter Tierney arrived Friday at 6:40 pm. It was a hectic experience this time around. I had school and work before I could get to the hospital and I arrived after she was born.

I finally calmed down when I realized Jennifer and baby were fine. We were afraid a c section would be needed.

I have had a week of doubt all the way around and wonder what am I doing?? My tests scores were bad.I deleted videos instead of saving them. I feel miserable and discouraged. I am lonely and find I am getting angry more often then not.

Where is the balance in all of this? I need to find some soon or I feel my chest is going to explode.

Well until next time.

week 4

This has been a hectic week for me, emotionally and academically.
When I went to take the test I couldn't remember the words to use.
I know the information is in there. I guess taking tests has always been hard for me.
I know I can do this, I know I can.

week 3

I am 3 weeks into the program and I still feel confused. I must say a lot of it is from trying to navigate thru blackboard. Some of my frustration is also that I need to learn how to write a paper the correct way. I know what i want to say, but it doesn't come out right. I also learned through taking a test that i have a hard time with memorization. There is sooo much to learn. Am I up to this? I know it is in there, but getting it out is another thing.

2nd week classes

Classes are better, I feel I am learning.I am not good at taking tests. I am still worried about signing. Then I came unglued when Caleb had those seizures. It seems when you leave class life kicks in and it is hard to concentrate.

first week of school

my first week of school was hard getting back on schedule. parking was horrible i got a ticket one day then overslept another. my asl 5 book was finally here when i got home but i am still waiting on another. there is so much info to learn and i am worried i will forget it. i am still having trouble with my signing. my teacher is very encouraging as ruby was last year. my daughter tabitha will graduate in may from fairmont. tabitha has been there to tell me i can do this. i feel sometimes like i am out there all by myself. there are so many changes going on inside of me and i think i am juggling a lot. i never thought i would be doing school at this stage of my life. i guess every day is a chance to learn and i want that.